Ted Alspach: The Anticipation of the Gathering of Friends, Part 1: Clear Expectations

Here it is, only a few weeks before My Very First Gathering of Friends. To say I’m excited would be a drastic understatement. To say I can’t wait would be a lie, as I do have to wait, and I’m going to, but only because I don’t have a choice. In fact, the anticipation of My Very First Gathering is in many ways sort of fun. Sort of.

You see, I’m not sure whether I’ve mentioned this before, but this is My Very First Gathering. I’ve only been re-engaged in the hobby for a little over three years, since 2004 and my discovery of Settlers, Carc, PR, BGG, and the realization that the games I grew up loving were going to be replaced by a much broader, noticeably deeper, and eventually mostly European-influenced set of games. Like many who have discovered or rediscovered their love of board games, I dove in head first and sucked up all the info I could find, along with dozens and dozens of games.

And then I found the reports about The Gathering of Friends.

After reading a few older reports interspersed with newer ones, all I knew was that this was the biggest and probably the best board game week of the year. I researched more and found to my dismay that the event was invite-only. This set-up is understandable now (well, sure, you say, you’ve been invited) both to keep the event to a reasonable number (300+ is reasonable to some, sure) and because the very nature of the event was to gather folks with likeminded intent and passion for gaming who knew a few of the other people there. At the time, I was a little depressed…I too wanted to play the latest, greatest board games for ten days straight with other people—but it was not to be.

So instead I attended local cons (DundraCon, KublaCon, ConQuest, that sort of thing), and because of the nature of those cons—which have some open gaming, but are structured mostly around organized games and tournaments—the thought of attending cons in general became less important. But I did keep reading those reports, especially the super-insightful ones from Rick Thornquist as he chronicled each day in sweet mind-numbing game-after-game detail. Speaking of reports, and I’ll cover this in more detail next time, initially the reports interested me almost exclusively because of the games. Now that’s of much less importance…I want to know “what happens” instead.

Last year, a few of my Board 2 Pieces strips were devoted to the Gathering of Friends, written entirely from second-hand knowledge from said reports. Rick’s photos from Day One (when he arrived around midnight) provided me with the Gathering of Friends banner graphic to use as a background for the strips. The strips resulted in a variety of comments from readers, mostly Gathering attendees, including one that asked where at the Gathering I was hiding as they hadn’t seen me around in the gaming areas. (I’m pretty easy to spot, at least when I’m standing.) But the best email I received came from a game designer I had never met, but was certainly familiar with: Alan Moon. Not only did Alan say he liked the strips (yay!), but he also asked whether I’d like to attend next (this) year. I had just gotten My Very First Gathering pre-invite! Alan received my enthusiastic “yes, sir, thank you, sir” email only a few seconds after he himself had pressed the Send button on his initial email.

It’s been about a year since that time, and My Very First Gathering of Friends is approaching quickly, only a few weeks away. Since that first time when I started researching the Gathering, I’ve attended many of the big cons (Gen Con, Essen, BGG.CON) and have been trying to compare them to my expectations of what My Very First Gathering of Friends will actually be like. From what I’ve gathered from reports, podcasts, photos, and Rick’s great videos from the 2006 GoF, it appears that BGG.CON is the closest to the Gathering experience. Aside from that, however, I’ve made a list of expectations for My Very First Gathering of Friends that I thought I would put out there; please post any clarifications or corrections if necessary.

1. Alan Moon bears a striking resemblance to the god-king Xerxes in 300 (though he wears less makeup and might be a wee bit taller than the Persian commander). Also, like Xerxes, he claims to be kind and cannot bleed. Attendees at the Gathering are required to kneel at his feet upon arrival, providing an offering of a valuable, out-of-print or impossible-to-get copy of a classic Eurogame.

2. The Loopin’ Louie world championship takes placed during the Gathering. Competitors in this tournament have been practicing their craft most of their lives, having mastered the Double-Tap, the Center Stall, and the 90 Degree Bounce. The reward for winning the tournament isn’t just fame and respect from gamers the world over, but more importantly it also results in the granting of a single wish from an on-call genie (which unfortunately cannot be used to guarantee future Loopin’ Louie victories).

3. Jay Tummelson’s entourage typically includes a half-dozen bodyguards, three oompa-loompas from his New Mexico game-production facility, and the Emira harem he received as part of a secret back door deal with Mayfair last year. (The details of that transaction are only now becoming known, but they are believed to include the souls of several prominent game designers.)

4. Tichu sealed-deck games are played at Las Vegas-style tables where the players all wear sunglasses and hats. The final round of the Tichu tournament involves a giant pile of money wheeled into the room by cocktail waitresses. The money is actually not won by the players, but is necessary for the environment demanded by Derk Solko, one of the world’s top celebrity Tichu players.

5. Rick Thornquist refuses to let any of the attendees even talk to his personal hairstylist, let alone allow said hairstylist to touch anyone else’s hair. Gathering organizers have requested that Rick refrain from flogging his hairstylist in the presence of the attendees.

6. The famous prize table has become so large in recent years that DHL and FedEx compete vigorously for the contract to ship the truckloads of games to each player following game selection. The actual prizes have gone far beyond board games, with last year’s first pick being DNA from and a coupon for creating a clone of Reiner Knizia at a local genetics facility. The rumor is that Reiner II will be attending this year’s Gathering.

7. ESPN2 will not, as in previous years, be covering the general Gathering gaming sessions. Instead, such coverage will be available only via pay-per-view on a tape delay basis. This is a result of the infamous Thurn and Taxis game last year when an obscenity-laden screaming match took place between Doug and Shelley Garrett for approximately 15 minutes after a particularly devious move by Shelley that eventually resulted in Doug’s crushing defeat. Several of the words, being banned in most of the countries carrying ESPN2, caused fines in the multi-hundred-thousand dollar range for parent company ABC, which in turn forced the corporation to decide it couldn’t afford to cover the Gathering. (Doug and Shelley are expected to return this year.)

8. All attendees will be tested for lycanthropy prior to their participation in any werewolf games to avoid cleanup fees similar to those imposed by the hotel after the 2004 Gathering Massacre. Also, actual lynching will be banned this year across the entire Gathering, not just in werewolf games.

Next: The Gathering of Friends’ research compendium: what’s available, what’s valuable, and what’s just plain odd.

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Comments:

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Le sigh.  As an outsider looking in (although I’m apparently part of the “old guard” of “Eurosnoots, a fact which I just learned this week), the Gathering is pretty much like Mecca.  So many of my good gaming friends from all around the world, hanging out for 7-10 days, having a good time, playing some great games, and just enjoying each other’s company. This year is doubly painful for me, as I won’t be attending the OoF, the late-June gathering in Atlanta which has been an annual tradition for me the past 3 (or is it 4?) years now. Ah, well.  Y’all have a great time for me.  And you’re not allowed to use “but I’m tired” as an excuse for posting abbreviated reports.  I expect 5,000 word essays from each of you, posted to BGN by noon CST each day.  I appreciate your compliance and eagerly await the detailed session non-reports ("I played 3 prototypes and they were AWESOME, but I can’t talk about it"), YouTube videos of grown men scrambling around a table holding rubber eggs against various parts of their anatomy, and pictures of first-time attendees sleeping under newspapers.  And animatronic chickens. Posted by Jon Theys on Mar 16, 2007 at 10:38 AM | #

Ted; I think you nailed it - mostly.  A few minor corrections, offered in the spirit of constructive criticism: 1. Snifty Snakes is also an accepted offertory gift (at least from me). 2. The on-call genie is just as hard of hearing and prone to fits of literalness as any other genie you’ve met.  In other words: Speak loudly and be VERY specific. 3. You forgot to mention Jay’s WWE-style entry theme music (AC/DC’s Thunderstruck, by the way). 4. The Poker tourney is run in much the same way.  Oh, and so is the Go Fish tournament. 5. In recent years Rick’s paranoia has risen to new heights.  Now we’re not allowed to acknowledge his hair at all, unless we speak to it as a separate entity.  The squeaky voice Rick uses to reply is...unnerving. 6. Sadly, Reiner II was killed in a horrible blind playtesting round gone awry.  But I hear Reiner III might show. 7. Don’t forget Nipplegate.  Actually, we’re all trying to forget. 8. Oh thank goodness.  The rope burns were hella hard to explain to the border guard on the way home! pk Posted by Patrick Korner on Mar 16, 2007 at 10:59 AM | #

I’m growing weary of all the “nyah nyah’s” and inside jokes. Posted by Kevin Wood on Mar 16, 2007 at 12:22 PM | #

Others will be live blogging, podcasting, and vlogging… will you be live-cartooning the event? (Or toongling, as I call it?) And I’d better see a copy of “Ultimate Werewolf” on the prize table… Posted by Dave Chalker on Mar 16, 2007 at 12:55 PM | #

We are looking forward to seeing you there! Posted by Sterling Babcock on Mar 16, 2007 at 01:36 PM | #

Regarding live toongling, that probably won’t happen. Most people don’t realize the lead time necessary for Board 2 Pieces. First there’s writing the script, then there’s getting all the pieces around for a photo shoot (some have very busy schedules), then there’s the initial sketches, then there’s the dialog recording sessions, then there’s the final keyframe image creation, then there’s the (and this is the most time consuming part) sending out of the keyframes to Korea for animation of the in-between frames. Then of course there’s filming the promo’s, the “next time on” spots, and final aggregation into the polished final strips every Tuesday and Thursday. It just wouldn’t leave me any time to play games… Regarding Kevin’s comment about inside jokes, keep in mind that I’ve never attended the Gathering, so any (attempt at) humor is all taken from stuff I’ve read/watched/heard. Though I must admit, this is the first I’ve heard of Nipplegate (and hopefully the last, as I’m sure those are images that would burn their way permanently into my retinas...eek). Posted by Ted Alspach on Mar 16, 2007 at 02:09 PM | #

About that Loopin’ Louie Genie: He’s a fake. Nothing I asked for has come true. And real Loopin Louie enlightened masters can do a hurling 270 direct bomb dive...um...olly...thingy. Moo, Frank Posted by Frank Branham on Mar 16, 2007 at 02:20 PM | #

Nipplegate occurred at Essen 05, not the GOF. Tom “The Photographer” Posted by Tom McCorry on Mar 16, 2007 at 05:38 PM | #

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