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The Classic Misadventures in Gaming #16
By Dan Bosley
August 16, 2006 (Originally Posted on June 15, 2003)
Previously, I’ve not written any misadventures involving any of the people from my regular gaming group, the Terminal City Gamers. But I have to start some time....
A few weeks ago, Rick, Jeff, Corwin and I were invited down to Seattle to meet and play some games all day with some Seattle gamers. It was a great opportunity, and one we all looked forward to increasingly as it got closer to the big day.
It was a Saturday morning, about 8:00am, when the 3 of them arrived at my house. We piled into Rick’s car. First stop was a gas station for some gas and some liquid refreshment to keep us from getting dehydrated on the journey. Corwin and I head into the store section of the gas station and check out their pop and juice and water. And water. And more water. There were several sections of bottled water. All with different brands and labels.
Now I don’t quite understand this. Coke and Pepsi, yeah. While somewhat similar - they ARE both colas - they do taste a bit different (especially if you have one right after the other) - so I can see why they have different brands. They are different products. They don’t taste exactly the same. But I don’t quite get it with water. I check the ingredients of the first bottle. Water. I check the another bottle with a different label. Water. I check a third bottle. Water.
Water, water everywhere. (Hmmm. That sounds vaguely familiar...) All exactly the same. But some of the brands are more expensive than others.. For the same size bottle. Why would I pay $2.00 for THIS bottle of water, when I could buy THAT bottle of water for $1.59. (Of course, that brings up the issue of why would I buy water at all, when I can get it for free from the tap, but I won’t get into that.)
Then I look more closely at the labels. There must be some reason one is priced higher than the other. Ahhhh, I see. The more expensive one is “Premium� water, collected by a band of hardy mountaineers in the far north who spent many, many days of their lives chipping off small pieces of pure crystal Arctic glacier and putting these precious chippings into the coolers they had thoughtfully brought with them. They called these small pieces of glacier “ice.� After hiking back to base camp, they then loaded the coolers containing the precious glacier chips into a refrigerated air cargo plane, which then flew the valuable cargo down to civilization - specifically, to a very modern, reverse-osmosis water technology plant, where the ice chips were carefully melted over extremely pretty candles and then poured lovingly and ever so carefully into the incredibly finely molded plastic bottles by hand, by beautiful maidens, wearing gorgeous white satin gowns, while at the same time also wearing completely safe and sanitary latex gloves to prevent any yucky germs from getting into the wonderful water.
On the other hand, the label on the cheaper water just says “Water from the tap with the crud removed.�
I buy the $1.59 water.
We hop back into the car, and we head south, for the border. The Canadian - U.S. border.
Now, since the tragic events of 9-11, border security is considerably tougher than it used to be. Many more questions get asked now than got asked a few years ago, and many more inspections take place as well. The border guards simply have to be, and are, more suspicious of people than they were a few years ago.
So here we come, approaching the border - 4 adult males in one car - 3 guys in their 30’s, and one senior citizen (me) in my 40’s. Four gamers on their way to Seattle to play some games.
The customs officer / border guard finishes with the car ahead of us, and it pulls away. A green traffic light goes on, indicating that we should move forward. Meanwhile, cameras have been taking lovely pictures of the license plate and of Rick’s vehicle in general, and of all of the occupants of Rick’s vehicle. That is, pictures of us. We all smile nicely.
Rick is driving. A few moments earlier, we had handed Rick our Driver Licenses, and Birth Certificates and Passports, for him in turn to hand to the customs agent. Signs are all around us telling us to have them out of our damn wallets and ready to go.
Rick smiles at the customs officer, who happens to be a BIG, beefy guy with a crew cut, somewhere in his late 40’s. The customs officer does not smile back at Rick. Smiling is not one of the requirements of his job description, apparently.
He bends his head down to peer in the windows of the car and get a good look at all of us. He is still not smiling. He is serious. Very serious.
“Papers?� he asks. And Rick hands them to him.
The customs agent starts going through them, scanning them carefully. “You all Canadian citizens?�
“Yes.� “Yep.� “Uh huh.� “Yeah.�
“Where do you live?�
“Vancouver.� “Abbotsford.� “Abbotsford.� “Aldergrove.�
“Where are you going?�
“Seattle,� says Rick.
“For how long?�
“For the day,� Rick tells him.
“Purpose of your visit?�
“To visit a friend.�
“All of you?�
We all nod yes.
“You’re all visiting the same friend?�
We all nod yes again.
He’s looking us over some more.
“And what are you going to do there?�
And Rick says, “Play some games.�
Now time freezes for an instant. I am sitting directly behind Rick, on the driver’s side of the car, so I can see the customs’ officer’s face through my window perfectly. And in that first second, when Rick has told him that we are going to be playing some games - I can tell instantly from the expression on the guy’s face that we four gamers have encountered a non-gamer. A definite non-gamer.
The customs guy clearly thinks he has misheard what Rick said, because he asks, “To do what?�
“Play some games,� Rick informs him again.
The customs guy is STARING at Rick. Then he looks at me through the window. Then a light bulb goes off in his head. “Computer games?� he asks.
“No, not computer games,� Rick says. “Board games.�
The customs guy is staring again.
“Board games?� he asks.
“Yes,� says Rick. Rick thinks fast for some examples. “Like.... Monopoly. Or.... like Risk.� The three of us could almost hear Rick’s thoughts as he formulated what he could say to the customs official. There was a definite infinitesimal pause as Rick decided what games he would name as examples. We of course had no intention of playing Monopoly or Risk. We were going to play the brand new (at the time) Amun Re and New England, amongst others.
The guard is staring again. He bends over and peers into the windows again, carefully surveying each of our faces one by one.
He looks at Rick again. And he says to Rick “Aren’t you guys a little old to be playing games?�
And Rick responds with, “Oh, but we’re young at heart.�
The Customs guy still doesn’t smile. He starts walking around the car, peering in the windows some more. He bends down and looks underneath the vehicle, but doesn’t spot anything out of the ordinary. He stands up again and walks back over to Rick at the driver’s door.
He looks at Rick again. “Monopoly? And what was the other one?�
“Risk,� Rick tells him.
“How old are you guys?� he inquires. Of course, he already knows, because he has all our I.D. with our birth dates on them.
We tell him anyhow.
“And you’re going to spend the day playing Monopoly?�
“Well, no, not exactly,� says Rick.
“What do you mean? Didn’t you just tell me you were?� the Customs guy asks.
Rick explains, “No, no, we’re not actually playing Monopoly. We’re going to be playing other games, though. Monopoly was just an example.�
“So when I asked you what you would be doing, you didn’t tell me the truth?�
“No, Monopoly was just an example. We ARE going to Seattle to play board games. I just figured you would have heard of Monopoly, and it would be easier to name that as an example rather than trying to explain the type of games we do play.�
“I’m in no hurry.� The Customs guy says. “What are you four going to be doing down in Seattle today?�
Rick tries again. “We’re going to Seattle to play some games with some friends. They’re adult games.�
An expression actually appears on the Customs Officer’s face. His eyebrows raise. “Adult games? What’s that? Like adult movies or adult books? You guys into some sort of porn?�
“No, no,� says Rick. “Call them games for grown-ups then. They’re not kid games. They’re games for adults. Games for grown-ups. They’re better than TV,� Rick says.
“I like TV,� the Customs Officer says. “So what are we talking about here? Scrabble? Trivial Pursuit? Chess? Those the kinds of games you’re talking about?�
Rick responds, “No, most of these games are from Europe. They have somewhat more complex rules than most of the games you’ve probably heard of, but they’re a lot of fun. Most of them are strategic and challenging, and they only take an hour or so to play. They make you think a bit. And most have a bit of luck, but not an overwhelming amount. You get to stretch your mind a bit, but in a fun atmosphere.�
“So what’s in the bag back there? Games?� the Customs Officer asks.
“Yes,� says Rick.
“I see. So you guys are going down to Seattle to play some challenging, make-you-think brain-games that only take an hour or so?�
“Yes,� says Rick again.
“And you’re bringing some of these games for grown-ups with you to Seattle?�
“Yes,� says Rick yet again.
“Let’s see in the bag. Let’s see some of these strategic brain games made for adults.�
Rick turns a shade of white. Corwin, Jeff, and I aren’t really sure why.
“Bring the bag out here,� the Customs Officer instructs.
Rick gets the bag and puts it on the sidewalk beside the car.
“Open it,� the Customs Officer orders.
Rick unzips the bag.
“Take out what’s on top, and let’s see it.�
Rick glances at the three of us still sitting in the car. Rick has a peculiar expression on his face.
“I’m waiting,� the Customs Officer says.
Rick turns his attention to his game bag, and pulls out the game on top.
“Let me see it,� the Customs Officer commands.
Rick hands him the game.
The Customs Officer gazes at the box cover art. He looks at Rick. He looks back at us in the car. He looks back at Rick. He looks back down at the box. He looks back at Rick again.
“I’ve never heard of this game,� the Customs Officer says. He balances the game in one hand and works at removing the box lid. After a bit of effort, he is successful. He hands the lid to Rick. “Hold this,� he tells Rick.
Rick takes the box lid and looks at us in the car again, and then back at the guard. “It’s out of print, now,� Rick tells him.
“I guess that must mean there’s not much of a market for these strategic, challenging games for grown-ups then, if it’s out of print then, right?�
“Well...� Rick starts, but the Customs Officer waves him to silence. He is examining the various bits inside the box.
“Give me the lid back.�
Rick does so. The Customs Officer looks at the lid again. And back at Rick. And he asks Rick, “So this is one of the games you guys will be playing today?�
Rick nods in the affirmative. “Probably. We don’t always play every game we bring.�
“I see.� The Customs Officer hands the game back to Rick. “This looks like a pretty complicated game. Must be a Canadian thing,� he comments. “I don’t think you’d catch any Americans playing games like this. All right, you’re through. Go exercise your brains. Get down to Seattle,� he says. And he waves us on.
Rick gets back in the car, and hands Jeff the bag and the game to hold momentarily.
As we drive south, leaving the border behind, we all start laughing. “That was priceless,� Jeff announces.
“That was great, Rick,� Corwin says, “just great!�
I tell Rick, “ I kept waiting for him to ask you to teach him how to play it!� We all laugh some more.
“We almost had a convert, boys!� Rick exclaims. “Almost. We were THAT close.� We all laugh some more.
Jeff hands me the game bag and the game to put away in the space behind the back seat. I carefully put the Loopin’ Louie game back into the bag. And as we head on down the highway to Seattle, we are all quite anxious to get there quickly in order to play some more of the great games for grown-ups that Rick has brought along in his bag. Games like Forest Friends. And Uncle Wiggily. And Snakes and Ladders. And Life (the one with Art Linkletter on the cover!). And Jeff’s favorite, Stock Ticker. And Corwin’s favorite, Mousetrap!
And as we head south onto the I-5 at Bellingham, we start playing MY favorite game - I Spy With My Little Eye. A true under-rated classic. But I’m still waiting for the Rio Grande version, though. It should be a keeper!
Posted by Rick Thornquist on Aug 17, 2006 at 12:30 AM in Special Features, Misadventures in Gaming / 1239
Comments:
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A great report! :-)
As a fan of drinking water I can’t resist: The different brands does make a difference. H2O is just the main ingredience of the liquid you buy (and from your body, too!). There are a lot of other ingrediences (minerals) and so the liquids taste different. Often, you can get used to it (but this might also be the case with Coke and Pepsi) but some actually are not suited for very old and young persons.
Christian Posted by Christian Becker on Aug 17, 2006 at 01:27 AM | #
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