Tom Vasel:  Being a nice guy.

I’m surrounded by my three laughing, yelling kids as I write this, listening to my rather eclectic taste in music - which ranges from Wiggles (for the kids) to classical to Broadway to movie soundtracks to Southern Gospel to whatever I find is interesting.  Just like games, I love having a huge variety of music, and 8000 .mp3 files are in constant shuffle on my Winamp player. 

I love the chaotic noise as it swirls around me, and occasionally I get to become the “monster” and chase the kids around, or dance wildly to the music.  Perhaps that’s why my reviews are “junior high” level, as one critic told me nicely.  Ah well, I wouldn’t trade the chaos for anything; I’m sure I’ll have quiet in abundance in future years.

Speaking of noise - it’s apparently against the law to say that Knizia is my tenth favorite board game designer.  Well, it’s true, and Wallace is my favorite.  Why saying that Knizia is my tenth favorite, out of hundreds of designers, is a derogatory statement to some, is beyond me. 

One designer who may soon make my “Top 25” designers list is Jim Doherty.  His Eight Foot Llama games are funny, quirky, and have great mechanics.  I just started playing The Nacho Incident today, and it falls right amongst those lines.  Keep Jim on your radar; he’s one of the few people I know who puts out funny games that actually have quality mechanics.

Jim is a great person to communicate with via the internet, and I have to say that holds true for a majority of the game industry.  Designers are some of the most pleasant people I’ve ever dealt with across the ‘net, and I think that as a whole, the majority of the fans of board games are the same way.  What a nice, orderly bunch of people, who never argue, complain, or say anything negative.

Until you change the face of www.boardgamegeek.com, that is.

If you are connected with the world of boardgaming at all, then you are certainly plugged into BGG, as it’s affectionately called.  With thousands of active users, a huge, thriving community has been cultivated there, and they wasted no time letting their thoughts known on the change.  People cheered, people booed, people yelled at the booers, people complained about the yellers at the booers, etc.  Fortunately, it all seems to be subsiding, and very few people’s feelings were hurt; and the site will become better as a result.

Much of the reason that everything is better is because there are fewer “jerks” out there - those whose sole goal in life seems to be as annoying as possible on the internet as they possibly can.  Every once in a while, one of these folks pops up in the board gaming world, but they find that there’s little tolerance for them.  Flame wars rarely happen, even on the less controlled forums.

Yet they still can happen.  Someone might disagree with you and say it in a strongly worded way.  Or they might send you a biting email criticizing you for something you wrote, etc.  This happens to me quite a bit, from publishers who are upset with how I rated their game (rarely, but it does happen), to those who don’t like that I rated a game highly, etc.  Do these people have a vendetta?  Do they hate me?  What’s the problem?

Well, usually the problem is - well, nothing.  Most people don’t intend to start life long feuds when they email you or post a comment in response to something that you posted on the internet.  Most people are simply expressing themselves in the emotion vacant space on the ‘net.  But things that are said invariably will hurt your feelings occasionally.  Maybe someone called you a moron for liking Munchkin, or an idiot who didn’t understand the finer meanings of Caylus.  Maybe you’re too positive, or a curmudgeon, or…

(hang on - I just had to give fake candy to one of the dolls that just “learned” to use the toilet.)

or maybe you follow the hype, or don’t know how to design game, etc., etc.  There are some people who will just curdle your milk and annoy the snot out of you.  How do you deal with them?

Well, you could simply ignore them.  They’ll probably get bored of taunting you (if they are trying to get a response at all - which is unlikely), or they’ll move on to a different target. 

My response would be to try and become their friend!  This sometimes works rather well!  Once a well-known gaming personality said something I considered quite derogatory about me in a certain gaming forum which I thought he didn’t think I read.  I sent him an email asking him to clarify his comments, because I had found them interesting; and we formed a pretty good friendship as a result.  By talking things over calmly with him, I found out that his

(throwing balls at kids)

comment wasn’t really that mean, it was more of a humorous comment, and we went from there.  And this has worked on many occasions, where mild comments on my part have often worked well to alleviate tension that might occur over a difference that, frankly, isn’t that important.  (Chinese Checkers sucks!  So there!, etc.)

Now, some folk aren’t going to be so accommodating.  No matter what you might say, they’ll never agree with you.  Sometimes these people are the species known as “trolls”, and they may be overjoyed to get any response at all from you - simply so they can spit out some more venom.  But in the board gaming world, these folk are frankly quite rare.

So get to know people on the ‘net.  Talk to those who don’t enjoy the same games as you!  When someone criticizes your review/session report/blog/game you’ve designed/published/etc., ask them why, and take it as honest criticism, not an attack on you!

(lifting my three custom weights several times in the air as they giggle and scream)

Today I got an email that was pleasant, yet had obvious undertones of unpleasantness about it.  My first response, in my head, is to send off one of equal discourtesy.  Then I think about all the wonderful friends I’ve met across the ‘net, simply by being nice.  And I smile, because maybe here’s another friend!  Of course, I could get involved in another pointless flamewar.  The choice is mine.  Which do you think I’m going to do?

And I’ve delayed the chase long enough.  So now I’m off to hunt down three hiding princesses.  Beware the Daddymonster!

And remember…

“Nice men play board games”
Tom Vasel
www.tomvasel.com

© 2006 Tom Vasel

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Comments:

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"I think that as a whole, the majority of the fans of board games are the same way.  What a nice, orderly bunch of people, who never argue, complain, or say anything negative.” Unless something new changes.  The face of BGG changing was pretty much a trigger, so were the changes that went into the rating system for geeklists and articles.  And when pictures were removed.  Etc. I have learned to calm down about these, more or less, but it still irks me when people let the worse get hold of them.  But it just happens.  People care a lot about certain things, and change is generally not taken very well. For the most part, though, it’s the vocal minority.  I am reminded again and again that there are far more lurkers on BGG than there are active posters, so it’s probably the case that boardgame fans are still, generally, quiet and polite and etc.  It’s only us loud folk who make up the visceral voice of BGG. By the by, a younger and less mature me would have scoffed at you for putting Knizia at rank 10.  The older and somewhat more mature me understands this and even likes this.  Variety is a good thing, and it’s not as though you’re saying that Knizia is a horrible designer (far from it, because there are a lot of designers out there, more than just the famous ones). Posted by Ava Jarvis on Jan 9, 2006 at 09:24 AM | #

Knizia says you are his 10th favorite boardgame reviewer. Posted by Brian Waters on Jan 12, 2006 at 02:03 AM | #

Some people are just “haters” as my new board game friend Chris says (gotta keep up on this new vernacular). The truth is, no matter what you say or do, you are going to upset someone regardless of how trivial it is. As a reviewer and columnist --- you need to express an opinion about something. The value I get out of that opinion is when you back that up with a “whyâ€?. Gosh, you and Ryan getting hammered lately? Tell me their names… :) Posted by Patrick Dignam on Jan 18, 2006 at 02:42 PM | #

LOL, Brian! Posted by Larry Levy on Jan 18, 2006 at 04:04 PM | #

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