Valerie Putman:  Yin Yang Gamers play Bonaparte at Marengo

My husband, Tyler, and I are yin and yang.  I’m an extrovert and he’s an introvert.  I love to travel and he loves to stay at home.  I love Eurogames and abstract games.  He likes a mix of war games, miniatures, and videogames—really anything with a good theme.  But, like yin and yang, we are interdependent—completing and supporting one another.

Tyler and I are a gaming couple and we are lucky to share the same hobby.  We go to game night and local conventions together.  We take gaming vacations.  In fact, we met at a boardgaming club—though he was playing Warhammer 40,000 while I was playing Web of Power.  There is certainly some overlap in our gaming tastes, but most game nights we part ways at the door as I skip off to the land of Maharaja and Goa and he rounds up troops for Nexus Ops and Star Wars Miniatures.  We will sometimes break out a 2-player game at home, but more likely he is hooked up to his Xbox and I am hooked up to BSW.  For us, it’s a perfect balance between sharing our interests and maintaining our individuality.

This week, Tyler and I are both sick with a really bad cough.  As a result, I didn’t go to the pub on Monday night for my weekly game night.  I was also supposed to play games with a friend visiting from out of town on Wednesday, but when his travel plans changed I cancelled that game night as well.  There isn’t a Columbus Area Boardgaming Society (CABS) meeting this week and if Tyler and I tried to go to the movies we would have been booed out of the theater for coughing so much.  So we were in for the weekend and I haven’t gotten my game fix yet for the week.  While I was tempted to suggest a 2-player game of Caylus, I instead asked Tyler to teach me one of his latest favorites, Bonaparte at Marengo.

I am determined to enjoy the game.  I’ve heard it is a “gamer’sâ€? war game, which bodes well.  But as we set up the board, I already see a few classic signs of games I loathe.  For starters, the set up for the two sides is completely lopsided.  Our victory conditions are different.  I try to listen carefully as he explains the different symbols on the board and the different types of maneuvers and attacks, but Tyler starts to sound like the teacher in Charlie Brown (wah wah wah wah).  I refocus my attention by asking a few questions and I think I have enough knowledge to begin.  I usually prefer to understand all the rules before I start a game, but I give up on that and chalk this up to a learning game.  He moves some pieces onto the board, explaining as he goes, and then it’s my first turn.

I am completely lost.  I can’t even “fake itâ€? by emulating what Tyler did on his first turn because our starting set up is so completely different.  I figure I just need to try some different things and learn from the consequences.  I move some pieces around and declare that I’m done.  As the game progressed I made some attacks (and lost) and tried to hold off his advances (and failed) and eventually lost the game.  While I don’t mind losing, I must admit I was frustrated because I had no idea what to try different the next time I play.  I didn’t enjoy the game and I am at a loss to explain why.

Are war games too complicated for me?  I don’t think that’s it.  I love Die Macher and Tyler looks at it with the same horror that I approach war games.  I asked Tyler why he dislikes the look of Die Macher and he said that it seems like a big circle with a whole bunch of cubes all over it.  He wants to look at a board and see the tension and conflict playing out.  For both of us, there has to be something inherently appealing about the game first to be motivated to learn a complicated rule book.  Die Macher doesn’t motivate Tyler.  War games don’t motivate me.

While theme isn’t important to me and I enjoy abstract games, as a pacifist, a theme centered on war and killing is particularly unappealing to me.  Could my dislike of the game stem from a bias I hold going into it?  If Bonaparte at Marengo had been explained to me as unicorns and fairies prancing around a field would I have liked it better?  I don’t think so.  The unbalanced nature of the game would still bother me.  I want the mechanics to determine game play and if a theme fits, that’s great.  I don’t like to see rules that are created for the sole purpose of theme authenticity.  In general, I dislike most games that are more focused on a gaming “experience.â€?  I would put historical simulations, roleplaying (including cooperative games such as Shadows over Camelot and Arkham Horror), and party games in this category of “experienceâ€? games that I tend to avoid.

I did get to enjoy quality time with my husband, and that, of course, made the game worth it.  I also think I understand a little better what it takes to introduce games to a non-gamer (of any gender).  Playing a game while completely confused isn’t fun.  But to be motivated to learn the rules, maybe there needs to be something appealing about the game before you even start to teach.  So when trying to introduce someone to games, find one that piques their curiosity.  For some it may be the beautiful bits.  For others it may be the colorful artwork on the board or cards.  And for many, (though not me), it is the allure of a good theme.

I’d rather be gaming,
Valerie Putman

© 2005 Valerie Putman

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Comments:

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Valerie, it’s a coincidence that you wrote about this game.  I bought it based on all the good reviews and comments I had read about it.  Just this past week I was reading through the rules, with the expectation of playing/teaching it soon, and my thoughts were very similar to your statement, “I don’t like to see rules that are created for the sole purpose of theme authenticity. “ To me, reading all these rules and exceptions brought to mind the word, “fiddly”.  But maybe it’s just that I haven’t gotten enough wargames under my belt to intuitively understand these exceptions.  I still want to give this game a try, but I don’t have high hopes for its’ longevity on my gaming table. I do wonder, though, from your article, did your husband enjoy the game?  What does he like about the game?  Does he want to play it again with you?  Your writing of this experience brings to mind a saying written by Dan Savage, that in a successful relationship, the partners need to be “good, giving, and game”, meaning that you should occasionally be willing to try something new that interests your partner, and put in the effort to do it well.  It looks like you’re the perfect spouse(and while you’ve got a cold even!). Posted by Scott Tepper on Dec 12, 2005 at 06:11 AM | #

Scott, I’ve actually decided not to give up on the game yet.  I am reading the rules myself and Tyler is happy that I want to try it again.  I’ll let you know how it goes. Valerie Posted by Valerie Putman on Dec 12, 2005 at 08:46 AM | #

Some people would see this ying and yang quite differently as they *game* but their spouse *does not*! LOL! I am however blessed with a wife who will play a game with me, but like you she is not in to the OVERT conflict of a war game. So I won’t go there...simple. However to me many games are more conflict driven that people realize and the “grognardâ€? in me appreciates. I am shocked that your husband does not like Web of Power as to me it plays a lot like a grand strategic wargame in that its all about area control and conquest (T&E as well). Try expressing it to him in that kind of “grog” speak. :D Let me see games that I have fooled my wife in to playing with me, Cosmic Encounter (Mayfair ed.), Web of Power, LotR: Confrontation, DVONN, Magic the Gathering, and NUCLEAR WAR!!! She is also a master Pente player. Anytime I want to lose my masculinity, I can just play Pente with her, which forces me to recover by watching Ultimate Fighting, boxing and several hours of war movies. Yeah! How about those Bucs?!? Play-offs Baby! Ok I feel better now… Anyway...the point I am trying to make is that you just have to point out some of the common threads that appeal to the war gamer and Euro gamer and sell those. Mentally strip away the soldier pictures on the counters or make him realize what the colorful wooden blocks in the game are *really* trying to do. :) Posted by Patrick Dignam on Dec 16, 2005 at 12:15 PM | #

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